A Very Full Day

Today was the last day for rehearsing for our regional literary competition. Dawson came into my class after we finished math and performed his piece. He wasn't excited about having fourth graders as an audience, but he didn't have any free time when I did, so we made it work. Max came to my class to practice through his lunch (my recess/planning time). Another teacher covered for me the last hour so I could work with three other girls. 

It was a full day compounded by getting stuff together for my sub, knowing Max had his first soccer game after school, as well as having household dinner that night. 

I arranged for a ride to the game for Max because he needed to be there by 3:30 and there was no way I could swing that. He ran into my room about 3:01. "Mama, PLEASE tell me you're going home. I can't feel my feet! These cleats are so tight!" These things happen when the first game happens before the first practice (that was cancelled), which was also the day before the game. Sigh...

I raced home and begged Dawson to help me go through their lockers to see if we had any cleats the size Max needed. When that didn't turn anything up, I ran up to the attic. Two bags of shoes later, I found two pair that might work, rushed Felicity to the car, and off to the game we went.

I arrived about 10 minutes before game time, and raced down the side of the field only to discover that someone found a pair and let Max use them. My heart rate slowed as I walked to the bleachers. The game went pretty well considering they hadn't played soccer in a very long time. It was nice to have an excuse to sit for a moment, watch Max, and chat with the other moms. 

We left immediately after the game so I could get dinner done before the guys arrived. Though it was simple (as in two of my kids asked what else I was making), it was done before everyone arrived. They were gracious enough to stay after dinner and let Max and Dawson practice one more time in front of an audience. 

I had every intention of getting to bed early since our leave time tomorrow is 5:50 AM, but one of the guys stayed late, the kitchen needed to be cleaned, Felicity had to be packed and picked up by my folks, and I needed to pack lunch for the four of us. I've found on nights like this, instead of being super depressed about how little sleep I will be getting, I just tell myself I'm about to take a really long nap. Works like a charm!

I'm grateful for our household and the wonderful relationships I've built with such amazing people. I'm grateful for a substitute who loves my class and is planning on making them a treat for tomorrow. I'm grateful for the opportunity to do what I love (drama) in small ways.  I'm also grateful that one day, I will be able to sleep. 

I Have a Favorite Kid...for Today

Tonight we hosted a birthday dinner to celebrate Max's birthday. We celebrated with him on his actual birthday, but tonight's dinner included our extended family who lives in town. Long story short, 18 people descended upon us at 6 PM.

On each child's birthday (and celebration) they get to be the king or queen. I will make (nearly) anything they request. When I asked Max what he wanted, he said tuna steak. I agreed, but said that could not be the big family dinner because tuna for 18 is pricey. My next question was what he wanted me to make for his big dinner. "Can we have Checkers burgers and fries? Oh, and monster cookies too?"

Max, for the moment, is my favorite child. Usually a birthday dinner is the chance to request things that are so difficult or time consuming, that I rarely make it - think creme brûlée for 18 or kung pao chicken (that has individual pieces that all need to be breaded and fried). This year Max picked tuna, which other than the marinade, takes about 4-5 minutes, and burgers that could be called in ahead and picked up. 

I'm grateful that this is what he wanted today. It's going to be a very busy week and just thinking about all I have in front of me has made my mind turn off for tonight. I'm grateful it was working when everyone was here and now...it's obviously time for me to try to get to bed. I'm grateful that it's time for that too. 

Gratitude Attitude Change

I have been in front of my computer for over an hour. I have the time to write about what I'm grateful for...but I don't feel like it. This is reality. I find that writing is mostly for me. It allows me to hash out my feelings and admit that that's just what they are...feelings. But, I feel them just the same. Also, I write because God told me to write about gratitude every day for a year; and, well, I try my best not to say no to God, because that never goes well. 

Tonight, as I type, I realize that God has a bigger plan than I can see. He knew that sometimes I was going to need motivation to find gratitude...when I don't feel like it...when I have to dig deep.

Here's the thing, I have PLENY to be grateful for. Sometimes though, I don't want to be happy or grateful. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I don't need to feel grateful to be grateful. 

Today I spent almost two hours coaching some kids for their oral interpretation piece because we have regionals Tuesday. We made some tremendous progress, and if they remember what we talked about and practiced, they're going to kill it. It was fun to watch the two of them come to life and I laughed out loud as they rehearsed, which felt great. 

Felicity is making her First Communion this year and my tradition is to get each child their own Rosary as a gift to honor this very important occasion. The great thing is that one of my dear friends makes the Rosary for each child, so it's an original and includes their favorite colors. The boys at this age weren't picky. I simply asked their favorite color and then went to my friend's house and chose the specific beads. Felicity is different, so I let her come with me and choose her own beads. She did not choose what I would have, but the smile on her face let me know I made the right decision to let her pick. She will love that Rosary and always remember how it came to be. Knowing it's a one of a kind certainly didn't hurt. 

That portion of my day would have been enough to instill a feeling of gratitude and it did. I left her house feeling so grateful for my friend, my daughter, and this wonderful sacrament. 

Next on the to do list was to make Max's requested monster cookies for his family birthday dinner we're hosting tomorrow. My kids LOVE these cookies and when Max asked for them, I wasn't surprised. However, I couldn't find my recipe anywhere. The good news is that two cabinets got cleaned out in my search, but none of the cleaning produced the missing recipe. Then, by the grace of God, I remembered a good friend asked me for the recipe years ago. I texted her to see if she still had it. Within minutes, she sent me the recipe and the cookies were underway. God sure does love Max and I'm grateful for that too.

By this time I finished the cookies, it was early evening and I knew the bathrooms needed to be cleaned. What I really wanted was a shower. I already felt pretty gross after a workout and baking for hours, so I decided to zip through my bathroom. Of course, Felicity's bathroom is next to mine and in much more need of a good cleaning, so I tackled that one as well. And, well, then, why not just go upstairs too? It made sense. 

As I finished the final bathroom, I felt so grateful that I got them all done. Something about knowing a space is clean makes me feel good. And the kids are all out tonight, so knowing that they'll stay clean for a few hours makes me feel even better. 

Now that I've spent some time recalling a few things I have to be grateful for today, my mood has lifted. Nothing else changed, but simply counting a few blessings changed me in a very good way. Now I see why God has this in store for me, and for that I am truly grateful.

County Day

Today was the big day in my classroom! It's one of my favorites and the students love it too. We celebrate all of their hard work on their first research paper. They each come dressed as someone from their country and bring a native food to share with the class. They get to stand up at assembly and announce the country they chose and why they are dressed as they are. The parents and grandparents are invited to come with us back to the classroom to admire all of the reports and then each elementary class comes in as well. This is super exciting for the students, and I love watching them impart their newly found knowledge on the other students. 

We had quite the feast for lunch - everything from South Korean spring rolls to Belgian waffles, to Japanese sushi. The weather was beautiful, so we ate outside. 

This project hits so many notes - research writing, creativity, public speaking, neatness, and organization. At this age, they think this kind of work is so fun. They've been visiting the fourth grade for four years and now they get to be the ones to dress up and show off. 

I am so grateful to be able to carry on this wonderful tradition. Many of my students' parents had Country Day in the fourth grade. I'm grateful for all of the hard work the parents did to help their students. I'm grateful for the delicious food we experienced and the wonderful weather we had to enjoy it in. I'm also grateful that we only do this once a year. 

One More Day

I am grateful that country reports are graded and the report cards are finished. I'm grateful the classroom is clean and ready for the parents and students tomorrow. I'm grateful for a friend who let me borrow her shirt so I can dress up too. I'm grateful that not only did I do all that, but I also cooked dinner tonight.  I'm also grateful that tomorrow is Friday!

Whew!

Last weekend I was grateful that basketball season came to an end. Don't get me wrong, I love watching my kids play, but I also love having a free night or weekend every once in a blue moon. On Sunday, I was exhausted, but also excited that this week included no games.

Then it hit. Next Tuesday is the regional literary competition, which I coach students for (as well as two of my boys). That means whatever free time I have at school (which may be like 20 minutes here and there) and at home, is going to be spent coaching. Also, Friday is Country Day in 4th grade which means yesterday I got a dozen country reports all between 15-30 pages long that need to be graded by tomorrow. Oh, and it's mid-quarter, so I also have report cards to do. All on the week of Felicity's Little Sisters skating party and Max's birthday, which no matter how hard I tried, fell on the same day anyway. 

Tuesday, I was so tired that when I came home, I fought back tears. It's just one of those seasons. When I wake up and I can't think of the next time I'll have a free moment, I panic slightly. 

When I was single, I thrived on a full schedule. It helped keep my mind off the fact that I was still single. And so, instead of sitting around being depressed that I wasn't dating anyone, I just kept so busy, that I didn't have time to think about it. It's a little different with a family on top of all of the commitments.

I'm grateful that I understand that this too shall pass. In a mere two weeks time, regionals and state will be finished, country reports will be a memory, and report cards will go out and come back. I'm grateful that we have these opportunities for our students. We have long been a sports centered school and it's great to let some other kids shine. I'm grateful for the tradition of Country Day and that we get to celebrate with a feast of food from their countries. And, I'm grateful that in one quarter and a half, it...will...be...summer.

Happy Birthday Maximilian on 2/22/22

It's 2's Tuesday, which we've known was coming for some time now, not because we're super geeky lovers of numbers, but because it's the day Maximilian made his way into the world and my heart. Up to that point, my pregnancy with Max was by far my hardest. I won't go into any gory details. Suffice it to say that it was so tough that I told Nelson almost daily, "If I ever say I want another baby, remind me of these

moments and that I NEVER want to go through this again. 

The first time I took him out in public, I remember having him close to my chest in the Ergo baby carrier as I stood watching Nelson load the stuff into the car. Max was brand new and making those sweet tiny sounds newborns make. I was completely smitten. "Isn't he just the sweetest thing?" I swooned. "Don't you want to have another baby?"

I was crazy about Max. I loved everything about him. He was my most peaceful and content baby and he carried those traits all the way through elementary school. Middle school, well, it's middle school and, thanks be to God, we're almost through that stage. Love you Max. Mean it.

Every day I am still in awe of you. Those crystal blue eyes, crater-like dimples, and dusting of freckles are definitely going to save you from a lot as well as win you many battles. 

Your immense talent is inspiring. There's not much you've tried that you're not good at. You can sing and play the piano, write, understand math, deliver show stopper impromptu speeches, not to mention excel at athletics of all kinds. We're just going to pretend that those botched box brownies never happened. It will be our little secret. 

We've flown across an ocean together, traipsed through the Roman ruins, and toured underneath Saint Peter's Basilica. We've road tripped to see Atlanta United and Alabama play. We've also made grocery and mall runs together. It doesn't matter where we go or why, hanging out with you is always a fun adventure. 

Max, I know the Lord has big plans for you because to whom much is given, much is expected. Stay close to Jesus, and you'll always have whatever you need to do whatever He calls you to do. 

I love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday!

                                                                        Mama

Day of Rest

 I'm always grateful for Sundays..simply because...they are a day of rest. 

Pressing Pause

One long week is running into another. Once I started working full time again, I realized that I have to fight feeling bad. My days are so packed and busy (5 kids have a tendency to do that), that I now spend my weekends catching up on the menu planning, grocery shopping, house cleaning, and ironing, not to mention other outside commitments. Monday rolls around and I start all over again. 

It's a bit depressing when I look at it that way. When there's no down time, I don't do well. Besides prayer, the one thing I do for myself is exercise. It's the thirty minutes of the day when I don't feel bad about not answering calls and texts, or shooing kids out. "It's only thirty minutes," I say as I try to catch my breath. "Unless someone is dying, it can wait."

I reached that point in the day yesterday when all I wanted to do was workout and be alone for that short time. As I pushed play, I got a text from a student's mom. Could I call about something? It sounded important enough that I pressed pause and made the call. 

I finished that and pushed play again. Another text from another mom. Did I have a class list for a birthday invite she could have for a party day after tomorrow? I've been there...at the last minute...I pushed pause again and found the information she needed. 

Two necessary things done. Finally I can get going. As I pushed play for the third time, Felicity came in with a barrage of questions about going somewhere with someone that minute. I figured if I took care of this, I would finally have some peace.

Once she was on her way, I stared at the remote in my hand. Dare I try again? I almost laughed out loud, otherwise I might have started crying. Some peaceful days are, well, not peaceful. 

I am, however, still grateful. I'm grateful I have been able to resist the temptation to use noise cancelling air pods to tune out my family. I'm grateful for a mother's heart that knows when another mother needs a call or a helping hand. I'm grateful that my life is full and not empty. And, I'm really grateful that in the end, I worked out anyway.

Brotherly Love

I was fourteen when my brother Kevin was born. I prayed for years and years and years for a sister. And then one day, I must have gotten desperate, because my mom said I started praying for her just to have another baby. I don't remember that specific prayer, but she does, because not soon after that, she found out she was pregnant. 

Kevin and I have enjoyed a special relationship through the years. I think the fact that I moved out when he was in those dreaded middle school years helped a lot. He was my companion in my single years, my excuse to go see the latest Disney movie, and the reason I toted Mackenzie to many a soccer and basketball game. 

When he moved away for college, he was faithful to call me regularly and check in with my kids. He's continued to support them as they've grown. It was no surprise that he showed up at Dawson's game last night.

I was impressed his new wife (and my new sister-in-law) came along. The score and the outcome didn't matter to them. They just wanted to see him play. I love that.

Felicity and I drove to their house after the game so I didn't have to drive back home in the wee hours by myself. It was late by the time we arrived, but we toured his renovations and Felicity talked us into watching Encanto. She promptly fell asleep and I don't know about Ang, but I not only stayed awake, I cried through the end. 

The next morning Ang headed to Greenville for her niece's 13th birthday, but not before she sat and chatted with Felicity and me. Felicity then woke Kevin and the three of us went to brunch. We dropped Kevin back home and headed home ourselves. 

Though there wasn't any huge event we were celebrating (like a marriage in Tuscany), or any party to attend (like a couples' shower or engagement party), we were totally happy to be cuddled up on the couch just hanging out. There's something about being with family that is always special no matter the circumstances. 

I'm grateful for my brother and his wife and their hospitality. I'm grateful for all of the little moments we've been able to share through the years. I'm grateful we have a lifetime of those still to experience.

Three Things

 Three things I am grateful for today. 

1. I'm not grateful Dawson's team lost tonight. However, I am very grateful that this loss means that the basketball season has officially ended. 

2. My brother and his new bride, who live in Atlanta, came to Dawson's game to support him, and invited us to spend the night so we only had a 40 minute drive after his 7:30 game instead of a 2 1/2 hour one.

3. I'm grateful that all 25 of the country report pages that got dropped on my desk this morning got graded by the end of the day even though I had art, and used my lunch recess to coach kids for the literary competition.

Spaghetti Supper

Today I'm super grateful that the senior class has spaghetti supper fundraisers. That way I have an excuse to feel good about not cooking dinner. My kids ate a nice meal, I supported a good cause, and someone else did the cooking and cleaning up. That's a win in my book!

Do Unto Others

I was wrapping up the school day with my students today when one of our high school teachers walked into my room with Dawson trailing behind, head down. She chuckled, "Well, I've got Dawson here and we had a little incident in class." 

I have a bit of PTSD with conversations like this. Since I started teaching at this school, if any of my kids get in trouble, someone usually comes down to my room to tell me about it. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's usually not good. My mind jumped to, "Oh no, what did he do?", while my eyes caught his and realized he was crying...but only in one eye.

His teacher continued, "They were working with some fiberglass wires in the earlier class and he must have gotten some on his hand and then rubbed his eye. I flushed it out in the eye wash station, but he's still hurting." 

Looking at his bloodshot eye, it was evident that something was amiss. My boys don't usually cry...especially at school. "Can you see ok?" I asked, wondering how he was going to be able to play basketball with no depth perception. An image of him getting hit in the side of the face with a basketball flashed across my mind. 

"I can see and open my eye," he quickly responded, "but the pain is excruciating."

Thankfully, the bell rang at that moment and my class exited the room. I thanked his teacher and loaded my gang into the car as I made a phone call to the eye doctor. Max had an eye scare a few years ago and I learned that when it comes to eyes and vision, you don't mess around. As luck would have it, our eye doctor, who we adore, closes at 1PM on Wednesdays. 

I called my nurse practitioner friend and neighbor and she didn't have a lot of experience with eyes. She said she'd call a friend and call me back. In the meantime, I texted a paramedic friend figuring he'd be able to tell me if I needed to bring him to the ER. He responded quickly with a yes since it would need to be examined with a special light to make sure there was nothing still in the eye to make sure he avoided an infection. After that, I called and left a message on my eye doctor's on call line. Then I called the closest prompt care, hoping and praying they had the right kind of light so I could avoid the ER. While I was on the phone with them I got a text, "Can you meet me at 4?"

I responded, "Who is this?", since I didn't recognize the number and was in emergency mode and Dawson's eye wasn't feeling any better.

Come to find out, the on call number for the eye doctor was his personal cell. Dawson and I hopped in the car. The doctor met us at his office ON HIS DAY OFF. He examined Dawson, and, thanks be to God, his teacher did a wonderful job and there were no remnants in his eye and no deep scratches. He numbed Dawson's eye, gave him some tears, and sent us on our way...twelve minutes after we arrived.

I felt awful about making him come in for "nothing", but the doctor assured me I did the right thing. "You never mess around with eyes. Often hospitals send people to me because I have all the equipment. I don't live far. I'm happy to help."

I thanked him profusely and asked what I owed. He refused to let me pay anything and told me, "This is what friends do for each other." I was blown away. 

I have a large circle of tight friends, who I have no doubt would do anything they could for me if I needed something. I am blessed beyond measure by this. However, sometimes I forget that there are other people out there who care about people just as much as my friends do. This is the way the world is supposed to work, but somewhere along the line, we have forgotten 'do unto others' and have made it all about 'do for me'. In the midst of this self-centered society, I am ever so grateful that God sends people in my path to remind me that there is still good in this world. May I be that good to someone else in need.

"In his his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

We start every school day with class prayers, one of the many, many things I love about where I work. The kids come in, put their things away and stand by their desks. Once the bell rings, I greet them and we pray the Our Father, say the Pledge of Allegiance, and then the monthly and weekly scriptures.  

Every month we have a character quality we focus on as well. All of the scripture verses reflect the character quality and provide some very teachable moments. This month the quality we're working on is flexibility, which basically means being able to adjust to change with a good attitude. 

This week's scripture is, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." (Prov. 16:9) More than the kids, the Lord often works on me through these daily reminders.

My mom told me many, many years ago that I could make all the plans I want, even do what I want, but unless I'm doing the Lord's will, I will never be happy. That was life changing for me. If God called me to be a nun (I wanted desperately to be married) in Antarctica (I despise being cold), I could be on a beach in the Bahamas, but I would never be truly happy. I wasn't sure I believed her then; however, she was oh, so very right.

Take for instance my life at (GASP) 50. I'm not sure I had a distinct plan for this period of my life, but I'm pretty certain it didn't include having an 8 year old, or working as a 4th grade teacher in a small school. I'm not proud of this, but I'll be honest, I cried many tears over both of those events. 

Nelson had a ten year retirement plan in place. Max was going into Kindergarten. I would go back to work. And, before long, we would have the house paid for and be on our way to an early retirement we could enjoy while we were still "young". As I stared at the positive pregnancy test, I wept. I was WAY older than I thought I should be. My mom nearly died when she had my brother at age 40, so I was absolutely convinced I would die having a baby at 42. THIS was not the plan, and it took me most of nine months to change gears.

Now, I can honestly say, God knew better. First of all, I did not die. And also, that little red-headed, freckle-faced, glasses-wearing, dimpled girl is one of my greatest gifts. She brings joy beyond measure and I can't fathom life without her. The Lord determined my steps.

Before the assembly on my first day of teaching 4th grade full time, I stood in my classroom bawling my eyes out (yes, the ugly, everyone will know I've been crying kind of cry). This was not my plan. Felicity was still at home, and I had stayed home with all of my kids. Not only would I miss her days, I would miss many afternoons and evenings trying to catch up on everything. How could that be God's plan? It was the first time I remember doing something the Lord was making evidently clear, that I REALLY didn't want to do. 

I wiped my eyes, walked into that gym, and fought back tears every day for the first month or two. Going back to work full time after so long was a big adjustment. My family didn't look the same, I was missing my last year home with my baby, and I was facing a challenging class. I did it anyway. By Christmas break, that class had worked their way into my heart and they've never left. I still don't like waking up and going to work. I also don't love spending my weekends doing housework, laundry, and shopping. But...I love what I do. And...I know I'm right where the Lord wants me. Through the years, my students have brought a joy into my life that God knew I was going to need. The Lord once again determined my steps.

It's only taken half a century, but what I've gained is this - I've stopped making plans and started praying to see God's plan. I don't tell people what I'm doing in the future or how long I'll be teaching. I say, "I'll be doing this until the Lord calls me to something else." There is a peace I've found in letting go.

But what do you do when you're in a place and you can't see the Lord's direction? What do you do when you are listening long and hard and you still can't see what in the world God has in mind? 

Seasons like that are hard, very hard. You can pray and listen and fast and offer up suffering and thank God for that suffering and sometimes...you still can't see where the Lord is leading you. So, what can you do?

I am right there right now, a tough season for sure, but I am still thanking the Lord for the good things that happen when they do. I am still praying, because I've promised the Lord I will never give up. God has been so good to me through the years, that I can't. 

I thought about giving up once. I was so upset that things weren't going they way I wanted them too that I stood in the middle of my hallway and told God, "That's it, I'm giving up because You're not helping me." It's one time I heard the Lord VERY clearly. "That's just what the Devil wants from you. He's going to have you the minute you give up." 

Talk about a game changer. 

I'm not a quitter. And that's exactly what God wanted me to remember. I stood right where I was and changed my mind. I was not about to let the Devil win, so I told that Devil to go right back where he came from (in much clearer words than I'll say here). No matter what he does, I'm never givng up on God and I never will! Sometimes I forget who the evil one is and God came down that night to remind me. 

No matter what season I'm in, no matter how hard it gets, I will thank God when I'm going to bed and I will thank Him again when I wake. I will trust that He will determine my steps, and if they're hard steps that seem impossible to climb, I KNOW He will be right there with me. 

That is what I'm grateful for. No matter what I do, or how many times I forget, God will always be by my side whether or not I can feel Him. I'm grateful He NEVER gives up on me. He keeps picking me up and putting me back on His path and He will continue to do that as long as I'm willing to let Him. And for that, I am very, very grateful!

Be a Planter

Today I gave each person in the family a love letter. I found some old fashioned stationery and have been thinking, praying, and writing for the last week. As I sealed the final envelope, a wave of uncertainty came crashing over me. What if I forgot to say something I love about him/her? What if how I said it doesn't come across the right way? I felt so insecure, I almost reopened them to start over. 

Then I remembered, I prayed before I wrote each one. I may not have said everything I wanted to, but I have to believe I said what God knew they need to hear. Just for good measure though, I prayed over the sealed letters. I prayed long and hard through tears. I don't know why, but this year and these letters weren't my idea, they were the Lord's and I felt the weight of doing His will. As I ended that prayer, a peace came over me.

I have discovered that I am a seed planter, in my marriage, children, and students. This means I plant and plant and plant, many times without ever seeing the fruit. I plant anyway because it's what I'm called to do.  The gift of watching those seeds blossom comes here and there and gives me hope for the seeds that have yet to bloom...or even sprout. 

Many, many wonderful people have planted seeds in me - family members, teachers, coaches, coworkers, friends. Some are in my life and can witness the ways I've grown and matured through the years. Others probably have no idea where I am or what I am doing, They planted, invested in me, anyway. And, wow, I am so grateful they did. 

To Super Bowl or not to Super Bowl? That is the question.

I grew up as the only girl in my family. I have three brothers. My dad was long time athletic director and coach at the University of Alabama in Huntsville.  He's in the Hall of Fame there for his women's basketball coaching success. He was also responsible for starting their hockey program. Needless to say, I grew up around sports. 

Even after we left Huntsville, my family watched a lot of sports on TV. We never missed an Olympics or a Braves' game. My dad coached my brothers' basketball teams and I was his statistician. Even though I was much more fond of drama and dancing, I played many sports as well. 

Fast forward to my life now. I have no idea who's on the Braves any more. That flabbergasts my mother. I have to explain to her that I don't have four to five hours a day to devote to 60 games. We have not seen one Olympic event this go around. We watch Alabama football games and my boys and I often watch basketball, but that's the extent of things. We're mostly busy doing, not watching.

Tonight, everyone but Felicity and I was watching the Super Bowl at various places. I was toying with the idea of turning the game on...and then I realized, I didn't care. I haven't watched an NFL game in I don't know how long. I may catch a glimpse here and there since my boys tune in to see how their fantasy teams are doing, but I certainly don't sit down and watch a whole game. Shoot, I hardly get to do that for Alabama football games which I love (seems people like to eat during the game and guess who makes the food). 

I looked at Felicity after dinner and said, "Hey, if you take a shower now, you and I can have a movie night since nobody else is here." She emphatically agreed and hopped in the shower as she begged me to make popcorn. As we settled in for the movie, I wondered if I should feel guilty. Then, I decided, I didn't need to. 

I'm grateful to have reached a point in my life where I am capable to make choices because I want to, without worrying about what people will think. I am not successful all the time, mind you, but I'm getting better and better. I'm grateful for movie nights and the fact that I still have someone young enough who thinks it's fun to hang out with me. I'm also grateful for popcorn and movies.

Serving Up Fun

Today Nelson and I, along with about 20 other friends were tasked with changing our gym from an auditorium into a sit down dinner for around 250 people. I know that sounds crazy, but it's truly amazing to watch. Everyone that was there to help, really wanted to. Each person found a job to do from covering the tables with table cloths, to counting cups, to putting candles on the tables, to setting places. It was like watching a well-oiled machine at work. No one was complaining about the work. Nobody was standing around twiddling thumbs. And, in less than an hour, the transformation was complete and we were on our way home.

Serving like that is fun to me. As long as I'm busy and have something to do, I don't mind doing much of anything. If I'm helping to get the job done, I'm happy. Doing it with friends who feel the same is some of my favorite time. There's something about working side by side with people that brings you closer together. 

I'm grateful my parents raised me to think things like this are fun. I'm grateful to live in a place where there is almost always an opportunity to serve. I'm grateful for the times I've been able to serve as well as the times when I'm the one who has been served. If the world worked like this, what a wonderful place it would be!

Food is my Love Language

I'm not to sure what every love language is, but I know for certain that mine is food. 

Now before you have visions of me sitting on the couch eating bonbons, or chowing down on a nice medium rare ribeye, I'm not talking about eating food. My love language is making food and feeding people.

I have a long line of Italians in my ancestry, and they all loved to eat and make food. However, I think this love language of mine comes straight from my mama. Holidays at home always involved a plethora of homemade food, from caramels to noodles to sausage cheese balls. There were many long seasons growing up, that there were people other than family members who ate at our table on a weekly basis. No holiday meal was without a guest. My mom loves feeding people. She still does. 

I learned my way around the kitchen from my mom. This included the first time she let me try to slide a cupcake pan, full of cupcake batter, into the oven for the first time. When the heat of the oven hit my hands, I freaked out and dropped said full cupcake pan upside down onto the preheated over door. Why my mom let me come back into the kitchen after that disaster I will never know, but I'm so glad she did.

Now I, too, have weekly meals for young single people. This includes 12 guests, plus the 7 of us when everyone comes. I've cooked some of these people's rehearsal dinners, lots of their wedding cakes, and endless meals for those of them who've had babies (after they're married, they graduate from our meals to their own families). I cook things for my class, my fellow teachers, and friends. Of course, I cook for my family most of all. 

Today, I spent the better part of the day baking and decorating heart shaped sugar cookies to give as Valentines gifts. To me, not much else says I love you like a homemade treat. I'm not sure if my kids agree, as they're usually the ones with the heart cookies at lunch while others are noshing on store bought candy. But, one day, I hope, they will understand.

I'm grateful for the gift of hospitality. I'm grateful for my mom's patience with me. I'm also very grateful I can cook.

Valentines Party Day

We have the day off school tomorrow and Monday so today was the day we celebrated Valentines Day in class. I have a mom who is big on holidays. She always finds ways to make special days even more special for us. Consequently, I love all holidays and their amazing potential for joy. 

In the elementary school, kids get very excited about all holidays too. All week we've been decorating bags for their Valentines and last week we did our amazing heart project, so we were ready. There was an anticipation in the air. 

When the time finally came, it was a short bit of pandemonium as everyone passed out their treats. I loved their little faces as they dropped their things into my bag. It was a little bit of shy mixed with a lot of pride in their gifts. 

After they settled back down, I brought out my treat for them. "I made you a Valentines treat. It's something I bet none of you have ever had and I'd love for you to try it, because trying new things is good for you. It's totally okay for you not to like it," I assured them, as I have a few picky ones this year, "but I'd like you to at least give it a try." 

I was bombarded by questions about what "Valentines Dip" is and what is in it. I offered the dip with their choice of pretzels, animal and graham crackers...or all of the above. I figured, if they didn't like the dip, they'd at least get a snack. It was funny to me that they were befuddled by how to eat it. "Do we need spoons?" "Can we lick it?" "Do we use our hands?" 

"It's a dip," I explained. "You eat it with the other things like you eat chips and dip." A sigh of understanding went around the room as they dug in. 

"Mrs. Parris," one student asked, "is this our prize for February?" They know I do monthly scripture prizes and they figured I was killing two birds with one stone.

"No. This is not the scripture prize because everyone hasn't said it yet. This is just because I love you and wanted to do something special for you for Valentines Day." As the words, left my mouth I knew the potential they held. I still remember my fourth grade teacher and I loved her. I know the reality is that they won't remember many details about their days with me. What I hope and pray they do remember is my love for them. 

Today I'm grateful for all the little chances we get to show people we love them. I'm grateful Valentines Dip and cheesy cards. I'm grateful for a bag full of lollipops and AirHeads I will never eat. I'm grateful we have days to remind us to show our love to the people we love the most. 

Just Three Little Things

Today I went from school to Felicity's Little Sisters activity and then to a meeting that night. On days like this, I'm very grateful for things like leftovers so I don't have to try to cook; big kids, so I don't have to find a babysitter; and day's end, so tomorrow can be another day. Three things and I'm out. :-)

The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth

When I decided to be a teacher, one of the most appealing things to me was the ability to indulge myself in the arts. As a teacher, I get to be "on stage" every day. I get to be an artist as I design bulletin boards and actually teach it. I get to write and teach others to do the same. And, I always get to learn new things. It seemed the perfect fit.

Fridays are for art in the fourth grade. We learned about Jim Dine last Friday. He is an American artist who is widely known as a pop artist among greats like Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. One of the ordinary objects he uses over and over is the heart, which is perfect for a February project. 

There are so many things I love about this particular art project. Hearts are an easy shape (especially when you make stencils for tracing). Mixed media is always fun, and the imperfections created by it are very forgiving. Nobody's heart is perfect...which, is actually perfect. 

This particular project lends itself to creativity. I take my art seriously, in that I'm still trying to teach them something under the guise of having fun. Many times, I teach them through a step by step process to show them they can draw/make whatever I choose. This one, however, I taught the process, but let them choose the colors and styles. 

We dipped strips of tissue paper in a mixture of glue and water and then we crumpled them and put them down on card stock paper. That, of course, was a mess, but being messy is kind of fun when you're a kid. Whatever they create can be, "Perfect!" Of course, then there's the waiting time. You CANNOT color over wet tissue paper. Once it's dry however, the magic happens. I take out ALL of my oil pastels. I show them a few tricks about shading and blending colors, then I let them go.

This is one project that when I'm asked, "How does this look?", "Is this good?", and "Am I done?", I can honestly respond with, "Do you like it?" and, "If you're happy with it, you're done." They are all perfect in their own way and I love that.

As I put them on the board, I realized I needed to say something. I was going to go with the simple "Love others" theme, but those words, though they are true and good, didn't do this project justice. Then it hit me, "The course of true love never did run smooth." It's perfect for this in so many ways. First of all, it's Shakespeare and we do a Shakespeare play in the spring. Then there's the fact that these hearts are quite literally NOT smooth. Also, there's the truth of the quote as one teacher noted as she passed by, "Well, ain't that the truth!" And indeed, it is.

I'm grateful for Fridays in fourth grade. I'm grateful I get to teach art. I'm grateful I get to watch kids get excited about their creations. I'm grateful I get to witness that in the looks of joy and pride on their little faces. 

 If you happen to walk by and see them, or even if you're just viewing them here in this space, find a fourth grader and gush over their success. Tell them how amazing their art is, and more importantly, how great they are.

A Birthday at a Bar

Tonight I attended a birthday party for a friend who turned 80. I love saying that she's my friend. The truth is that she's the mother of one of my best friends, who is now my friend. She volunteers in our school office once a week and it just so happens that's the day my class has PE, so I usually get to chat with her while I'm making copies. 

She's the mother of 10 and they were the ones who threw the party for her. It was at a local bar where her youngest son works. How great is that? When we sang to her, she stood on the legs of a bar stool so she would be elevated. She promised that when she turns 90, she'll stand on the bar. 

Hers is a life poured out - in service, in love, in hard work, and joy. The fruit was evident tonight as most of her kids and grandkids (well, the ones old enough for the bar scene) were there to celebrate with her.

Today, I 'm grateful I've been able to be a very small part in that life well lived. She shows no signs of slowing down. I'm grateful for that too.

Sweet Sleep

Today I'm grateful for new bedding. I know that sounds very superficial, but it's real. I've had the same bedding since we moved into this house 14 years ago. Of course, after that long, it was showing some wear and tear and I was ready for a change. I saw an add online for a clearance sale. It was a bedding set that not only matched our paint and curtains, but both Nelson and I agreed on it. Two days later, it was at my door. 

The reason I started looking in the first place was that I was desperately in need of some new pillows. I was waking up sore every morning and not sleeping well. Pillows seemed the cheapest way to attempt to solve that problem. 

Now when I get in bed at night, I feel as if I'm in some posh hotel far away. The sheets are smooth, the comforter soft, and the pillows are just right. I look forward to going to sleep. I smile as I wrap myself in all of the luxury (hey, after 14 years, new is a luxury) and thank God for it. 

It's a rather simple and material thing, but I am oh, so grateful for it.

Why We Wait

Today I cleaned my house. It's certainly not a fun or glamorous way to spend the weekend, but it had to be done. I started late morning and finished up late tonight. Of course, there were three basketball games and some laundry thrown in, but even so, it was an all day chore.

I don't like to clean; however, I love a clean environment. I don't like to practice, but I love giving a good performance. I didn't like to study, yet I loved getting good grades. See the trend?

It's not in our nature to do hard things. We like things to come easy and quickly. Cue the world takeover of Amazon. I like the convenience of ordering what I need, but I don't truly appreciate what I get (though I may love it). In fact, I get a little bent out of shape when I get that message that they're running late and it may be three (GASP!) days instead of two.  But here's the thing, we don't appreciate stuff that come to us that way. When's the last time you truly enjoyed fast food? We don't get it because it's delicious, we get it because it's fast. 

In contrast, I loved running half marathons...well, okay... I loved finishing half marathons. In order to finish one, I had to train for months, suffer through strains and injuries, and cry many tears over the fact that I run slower than most EVERYONE. However, when I crossed that finish line, I felt like a champion. It didn't matter what my time was, I finished something I thought I could never do. 

I didn't love anything about spending my Saturday scrubbing toilets and vacuuming. However, I'm now writing in a clean environment and I love that. It's especially nice when I finish after most people are in bed. There's just something about knowing that it's going to stay clean for a few hours that makes me happy. 

Today I'm thankful that God doesn't give us everything we ask for when we ask for it. I don't like it, but I appreciate it. I'm thankful He gives us the opportunity to work for it - prayer, fasting, waiting. The things we wait for, have prayed for for so long, are the things we truly love.

Sometimes the Answer is No

This morning was a dark and dreary one. It was also VERY wet. As an elementary teacher, that's one of the worst kinds of days, because it means inside recess. That means that the two fifteen minute increments that I get to plan, grade and make copies are gone. It also means that I'm with the students...inside...all day. If you think rainy days are hard with a few little ones, try it with a dozen.

By the time I got home, all I wanted was some peace and quiet. I wanted to workout, do some laundry, and make dinner. By 3:15 Felicity was out the door and by 3:17 she was back...with friends.

"Umm, what are you doing Felicity?" I asked as her friends stood around her. 

"We're coming in to play," she responded as if she already knew my response. Admittedly, it's usually yes, because I have a hard time saying no.

"Not today," though is what I responded very matter-of-factly. 

"Why?" she asked with those big brown eyes.

"It's Friday, and I need some peace. Go outside and play today." In my defense, it had stopped raining before the end of school.

They were't too happy, but they obliged. I felt a little guilty, but I soon got over that as I let the quiet wash over me. I got everything on my list done that afternoon because of that decision.

I'm grateful that I've reached the point in my life (for the most part, on most days) where I know what I can and what I can't handle. I'm grateful to be okay with the fact that I'm with kids all day, every day, and some days, I need them to not congregate here. I'm grateful that sometimes the answer is no. 

Blizzards and Basketball

Max and his team had the second round of their basketball tournament tonight. My ordinarily glass half full kid was totally pumped. If they won this game, the championship was next, and he could taste victory. I loved watching his excitement. 

The team they faced was a much better team and everyone knew it. However, Max's team has had some games of brilliance this season, and when they are in the zone, miracles can happen. Whatever the case today, I prayed hard that they'd have that kind of game win or lose. 

That...is...not...what...happened.

By the beginning of the fourth quarter the whole team had a total of three baskets (all for 2) and some free throws. The other team was playing a full court press and then a stiff man-to-man defense that threw our boys for a loop. Not only were they not making baskets, they were not taking shots. They turned the ball over. They had a hard time rebounding. It was not their game. 

They played the whole game and never gave up though. The final quarter included two more baskets and a few free throws that inched the score closer. But, when the final buzzer sounded, we had a team full of VERY disappointed boys.

I hated watching it. At the table with the book, it's often even more painful. I know exactly how many shots they didn't take and how many they missed. The stats often tell a much bleaker story than the game. I wanted a miracle victory just like they did.

Instead, I hugged a boy fighting back tears. He knew too well how the game had gone. He knew it wasn't his night. And, he knew that's how the season ends. He didn't like it...and, neither did I.

I'm not grateful they lost, but I am grateful for the opportunity it provided to experience and learn one of life's hardest lessons. The road to success is paved with failure. The key is to keep your head up, move forward and work to get better. Perseverance is a necessary trait that is often best learned through defeat. 

I guess I am grateful that we don't always win. I'm grateful God continues to give us the opportunity to grow in humility and fight off pride. I'm also very grateful that my boy will still accept a condolence hug and a Blizzard to ease the pain. 

Everyone Needs a Cheerleader!

A few years ago, a friend of mine invited me to join a group workout challenge. It had been a while since I worked out regularly. Don't get me wrong, at the time I was working at a restaurant waiting tables and tending bar and some days I clocked close to ten miles just walking around. But it's not the same. I've always said that exercise is my Prozac. I NEED  it for my peace of mind. I've had some of my best prayer times on long runs and in gyms. Also, sometimes I'm just focused so intently on catching my breath that I can't think about anything else...which is kind of nice.

Long story short, I joined Beachbody on Demand and started a program called 80 Day Obsession. I mean seriously?! EIGHTY DAYS?!!! The workouts were anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour without any days off. I'm not sure how I did it, but I did. I guess having a dad who was a college coach instilled a bit of never give up attitude in me. That, and I think the 80 day program took me more like 85 days. I felt like a champ when I finished it. 

I've been working out with those programs ever since. It's hard to find an excuse not to workout when the gym is in your home. Quarantine was no big deal. My gym never closed. In fact, I got more workouts in. Oh, also, I've pretty much stuck to 30-45 minute workout programs since then. 

I'm doing a combination of two different dance programs right now - Barre Blend and Let's Get Up. The Barre class is one of the hardest workouts I've ever done. I've challenged my boys, who mock me sometimes, to join me because I'm pretty sure they would die. And Let's Get Up, let's just say it could be called Let's Sweat Profusely. Regardless of the effort involved, the leader of each class is so encouraging that it's kind of like having my own private cheerleader. 

"You're amazing!" they tell me as I'm struggling to catch my breath and keep my balance. "You can do this!", is another of their favorite phrases to which at times I respond, "YES! I can!", and others, "No way. You've got to be kidding me." Either way I respond, they keep cheering and it gets me through. 

I also wear an Apple Watch...mostly because it too cheers me on. Every morning a message pops up like, "Way to crush it yesterday Amy! You closed all your rings and then some." I, usually audibly, respond with, "Hey, thanks for noticing! I did kill it." My watch and I are becoming good friends. And, like all good friends, it also lets me know when I didn't do so great. "You're rings are behind for this time of the day," it will remind me as I sit at my desk grading papers. "You closed one ring yesterday. Let's go for more today." I'm not going to lie, sometimes, I want to tell my watch to shut up.

Either way, I'm grateful for the virtual cheerleaders in my life. Some days I just need to hear someone tell me that I'm great and that I need to be proud of giving it my all...even when they are people I've never met...or not people at all. 

We all need someone to cheer us on. As we grow, there are fewer and fewer opportunities to have that happen. We cheer for our kids, but we rarely cheer for each other. Let's look for some small way to cheer someone on in the next day or two. "I love your sweater! You look great in it." "I think it's amazing that you are going back to school at this point in life." "Way to make that deadline." It doesn't take any effort, just a little thought. It can make someone's day. And, sometimes, it plants a seed that will bring joy for days to come. 

Lesson from the Court

Tonight was senior night. It's a sweet tradition for our last home games when the seniors get called out, along with their parents, to be honored for all of the years they've played. 

The girls came away with a win and so all was good at the honoring. The coach/athletic director/principal always does a great job honoring our kids. It's always clear to me how much he loves them. 

After that the boys' game started. We began the game without two of our starters because they were injured and we lost another one before the half due to an injury.  It was clear to me, and everyone else after the first few minutes, that we were not the better team...even on our best day...with all our players in tact. 

The other team was amazing. And, after the first quarter it was already 28 to 6. Not only were they good, we could not buy a basket. Even good shots were rimming out. By the second quarter their lead had stretched to 30 points. 

Here's the thing. The other coach didn't put subs in until about 2 minutes to go until half. I felt at that point, they had had their fun and were going to show at least a little mercy. The third quarter, however, their starters went back in and played full force. They didn't slow down, they didn't try to stretch things out with passes, they just kept driving. I get that your starters need the practice and should play. I get that they should play their game. However, when you lead by 40 and you still have your starters in, pressing and playing full force, I have a problem. 

To make matters worse, their crowd, coach, and bench (which was extensive by the way) were cheering as if every basket was a victory and they wanted to rub it in our faces. The mercy rule was invoked for the fourth quarter and it was shortened by two minutes. Guess who was still in the game for them? Yep. With less than two minutes left, and a fifty point lead, the subs finally went in.

I'm going to be honest here. I have no respect for a coach who takes pride in beating down his opponent. I don't get it, especially when you have seven players sitting on the bench dying for an opportunity to play. 

I want to say how proud I am of Dawson and his teammates, who never gave up. They played hard every single minute of the game and never gave up the fight. This, after getting home close to midnight after their game last night in which they beat a team that had previously beat them and secured first place in their region. 

I am grateful for our coach, who in the same situation, puts our bench in and lets them play. He tells all of our players to back off just a bit, stop pressing, and pass the ball around. I'm grateful for players, who just last week were just a few baskets shy of reaching 100 and instead of trying to run up the score, they continued to pass to the players who almost never score to let them try. I'm grateful they recognized the talent on the court and didn't let it defeat their spirits....even after the game. 

There are definitely some life lessons to be learned here and in that arena, our kids are definitely the victors. I'm very grateful for that.