On Wednesday, July 12th I turned the BIG 3-5! It’s hard for me to believe. It seems like just yesterday it was my 30th and now, here I am 5 whole years later.
In thinking about these numbers I told my husband, who, by the way just happens to be younger than me and likes to rub it in, "You know, I'm half way to 40 now." Of course, I was thinking half-way between 30 and 40 until he responded.
"Are you kidding? You're half way to 70!" Thanks babe.
Other than that, it hasn't really bothered me so much that I'm getting older. In fact Tuesday night I was up late and as I was preparing for bed, the clock struck midnight. Even though everyone in the house was fast asleep, I wished myself a very happy birthday.
I stopped for a few minutes of prayer. There were no initial petitions because my heart was overflowing with gratitude. As I was thanking God for the gift of my life I felt like my life has been so blessed up to now that if I had died that night, it would have been enough.
Now, don't get me wrong. I made it VERY clear to God that I didn't want to die. I just meant that I really feel like I couldn't possibly ask for anything more. I have no real regrets. Yes, I've made mistakes. Yes, there are a few things I think it would be nice to see or do or experience. But, I have no regrets.
I've accomplished all of the initial goals I set for myself. I know that I'm supposed to be married. I know that Nelson is the right one for me. I have three beautiful and healthy children. I have family and extended family that love me and support me. I have a lot of the same friends in my life that I've had since high school. I love Jesus and I know that He loves me.
I went to sleep at the very beginning of my birthday totally content, full of joy and bursting with excitement to see what the next 35+ years have in store. How could it get any better?
The day itself was pretty normal. My kids wished me happy birthday upon command of Nelson. However, later they came back to ask me how it could possibly be my birthday since there was no cake, candles or presents. I had to explain to them that big people just don't have birthday parties like children do.
Nelson arranged for a sitter and took me out to dinner. That, in and of itself, was a gift. Not only did we have an evening to ourselves, but I didn't have to do anything to make it happen. When we finished dinner, he said he had some place really special to take me.
We went to a bar at the top of one of the historic hotels downtown. We walked in to discover about 60 of my dearest friends and family members. Nelson had planned a surprise cocktail party for my birthday.
It was beautiful. The bar is glassed in on three sides and overlooks the city and the river. There were flowers, balloons, a huge cake, lots of food, an open bar, and, did I mention, 60 of my friends?!
I felt like I had walked into a dream. What woman doesn't dream about her husband doing something HUGE like this for her? How many of them actually do it? Mine did. And boy, did he do it in STYLE. I felt so loved and honored by the whole event that I am still glowing and smiling about it as I type. I married the best man in the world. I have the best friends in the world. As I walked out of the hotel that night I couldn't help but to wonder, "Who wouldn't want to live my life?"
I am blessed. Sometimes, like now, I feel almost guilty about how blessed I am. I am certain that I've done nothing to deserve these blessings. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for everything to fall apart. Like one day God is going to say, "Okay girl, you've had enough!"
The fact is that He very well could do that. He has every right to. After all, He is God. And yet, that's the point. HE IS GOD! And, GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. I could feel this blessed every second of every day for the rest of my life and I could NEVER use up His goodness. As a matter of fact, this is what He had in mind for us in the first place. Remember Eden? God doesn't mess things up, we do.
I am happy about my life. I am happy I'm 35. I am so very happy that I know that none of this has anything to do with me. And I am beside myself that I have a God who loves me enough to bless me anyway. May my next 35 years be my gift back to you, Lord.