Gratitude Attitude Change

I have been in front of my computer for over an hour. I have the time to write about what I'm grateful for...but I don't feel like it. This is reality. I find that writing is mostly for me. It allows me to hash out my feelings and admit that that's just what they are...feelings. But, I feel them just the same. Also, I write because God told me to write about gratitude every day for a year; and, well, I try my best not to say no to God, because that never goes well. 

Tonight, as I type, I realize that God has a bigger plan than I can see. He knew that sometimes I was going to need motivation to find gratitude...when I don't feel like it...when I have to dig deep.

Here's the thing, I have PLENY to be grateful for. Sometimes though, I don't want to be happy or grateful. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I don't need to feel grateful to be grateful. 

Today I spent almost two hours coaching some kids for their oral interpretation piece because we have regionals Tuesday. We made some tremendous progress, and if they remember what we talked about and practiced, they're going to kill it. It was fun to watch the two of them come to life and I laughed out loud as they rehearsed, which felt great. 

Felicity is making her First Communion this year and my tradition is to get each child their own Rosary as a gift to honor this very important occasion. The great thing is that one of my dear friends makes the Rosary for each child, so it's an original and includes their favorite colors. The boys at this age weren't picky. I simply asked their favorite color and then went to my friend's house and chose the specific beads. Felicity is different, so I let her come with me and choose her own beads. She did not choose what I would have, but the smile on her face let me know I made the right decision to let her pick. She will love that Rosary and always remember how it came to be. Knowing it's a one of a kind certainly didn't hurt. 

That portion of my day would have been enough to instill a feeling of gratitude and it did. I left her house feeling so grateful for my friend, my daughter, and this wonderful sacrament. 

Next on the to do list was to make Max's requested monster cookies for his family birthday dinner we're hosting tomorrow. My kids LOVE these cookies and when Max asked for them, I wasn't surprised. However, I couldn't find my recipe anywhere. The good news is that two cabinets got cleaned out in my search, but none of the cleaning produced the missing recipe. Then, by the grace of God, I remembered a good friend asked me for the recipe years ago. I texted her to see if she still had it. Within minutes, she sent me the recipe and the cookies were underway. God sure does love Max and I'm grateful for that too.

By this time I finished the cookies, it was early evening and I knew the bathrooms needed to be cleaned. What I really wanted was a shower. I already felt pretty gross after a workout and baking for hours, so I decided to zip through my bathroom. Of course, Felicity's bathroom is next to mine and in much more need of a good cleaning, so I tackled that one as well. And, well, then, why not just go upstairs too? It made sense. 

As I finished the final bathroom, I felt so grateful that I got them all done. Something about knowing a space is clean makes me feel good. And the kids are all out tonight, so knowing that they'll stay clean for a few hours makes me feel even better. 

Now that I've spent some time recalling a few things I have to be grateful for today, my mood has lifted. Nothing else changed, but simply counting a few blessings changed me in a very good way. Now I see why God has this in store for me, and for that I am truly grateful.