Life Lessons, One Shovel at a Time

Today was the day we buried our friend. I told my kids it wasn't a choice. He was their friend too and they were to join me. None of them pushed back, they loved this man dearly. It didn't mean they wanted to spend their day off of school doing this, but they did it anyway.

The funeral went pretty fast, but the cemetery is about 35 minutes away. It's a long drive and it was COLD. I told them that when they were dressing this morning. "It's not just cold like I think of cold, but YOU will be cold and the wind will be blowing hard."

I had some drinks and snacks for the way. They were quiet, but not complaining...at all. When we got there the wind WAS blowing and it was COLD. We stayed anyway. Each of them took their turn with the shovel. They've done it before and it made me proud to see them so willing to do it again. 

After they finished I said we would all go and give his wife a hug. That was the only time they were a little put off. "Mama, people they've know their whole lives are in line. Why would she want a hug from us?"

"It will mean a lot to her. She's known you your whole life, so believe me when I say, she will be happy you hugged her."

They followed me and hugged her and told her they were sorry and that they loved her. Her smile said it all. She told the boys she could remember when they were so little they would jump in her lap. She always made them their own loaf of bread when it was their birthdays and they loved it, so much so they named the bread after her. She remembered that too and told them she'd make them some soon. The boys smiled at that. 

Death is hard and sad. It's impossible to have the right thing to say. Though this is true, people love that you try. It means the world to someone on a day like that to get a hug and a kind word. The effort and awkwardness is worth the impression it leaves on the loved one left behind.

Today I'm grateful for little moments like this to teach my children big life lessons. Lessons like, when you love someone, you show up for them. Lessons like a hug is worth more than any gift. Lessons like death is part of life. I'm so grateful they're willing to learn.