Blessed be the Name of the Lord: The Journey Begins

Yesterday afternoon, before I took the kids to the pool, I got a phone call from Nelson. “Hey hon, I wanted to let you know that I've been suspended with pay," came his normal, everything's under control voice. 

"What?!" came the shocked response from me.

“Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine,” he assured me. He then went on to explain what was going on, how he had followed the rules, run it up the chain of command, and gotten permission he didn’t even need to do something he didn’t even need to let anyone know he was doing. “It’s just something they have to do. We’re going to be fine. I just wanted to let you know before you hear it from someone else. I’m going to go ahead and get some other things done since I have the time. I’ll see you tonight.”

That’s why he’s the best salesman out there. I hung up the phone believing that everything was going to be just fine. I took the kids to the pool and we had a great afternoon.

We chatted Thursday night before going to sleep. We joked about how I had better schedule my vein surgery as we were at our out of pocket deductible for the year. We discussed worst-case scenario, they offer him a nice severance package, and he takes it and gets on with what he really wants to be doing anyway. Then we concluded that everything was going to be fine and this was just a sign that it was time to make real plans to leave a job he wanted to leave anyway.

Then came today. He left at the normal time, just dressed a little more casually. Though he wasn’t allowed to contact anyone from work or any clients, he always has several irons in the fire so he went about his business and so did I.

I had a baby shower for a friend and I was getting the baby bathed and changed for him when he walked into the nursery this evening. “Well, I got the call today.” After 16 years with the company, being the top salesman not only in Augusta, but also in his area, they called him on the phone and told him to go clear out his desk.

This news totally took me by surprise. Can this really happen? Are people really this heartless? I knew I should be strong for him but I cried because that’s just how I roll. I cried mostly because I was so hurt for him. After all the sacrifices he’s made, after all the family time he’s lost, after everything he’s given them, that’s how he’s treated? He deserves so much better.

I assured him I was not crying because I was worried. “If there’s one thing I have never doubted, it’s your ability to provide for this family. I have every confidence you will make this work for the better babe. I just hate to see it end this way.”

I offered to stay home, but he wanted me to go. I went to that shower in a total fog. I wanted very much to celebrate this sweet mama and her baby on the way. I turned on my party face and tried to distract myself from my own life.

I stayed for the presents and then got the heck out of dodge so as to not distract from the mama’s day with my show of emotion. I wanted to be home with Nelson.

By the time I got home, he was in bed, worn out from the reality of the moment. I was too wound up to sleep so I shot a text to a good friend and former co-worker of Nelson’s. I just needed to vent. He, very graciously, called me. The two of us vented together. Actually, I think he was angrier than I. He assured me that in the long run, this would be a good thing and that he would do everything he could to help Nelson.

As I stood in the kitchen trying to wrap my mind around what this all meant for our family, I recalled a scripture verse.

“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of The Lord.” Job 1:21

Never before has that scripture had more meaning for me than it did tonight. Nothing we have is by our own might. Every single thing comes from God. And whether He gives it to us, or He allows it to be taken away, His name should still be praised.

I’m not sure what God is doing right now. I don’t necessarily agree with His methods. I do know, however, that His ways are not my ways. I know that He is still God and He will take care of us.

This is going to be a journey. Be sure of this – I am not going without God by my side.