In Regards to the Blog about Protecting My Children

Okay. I've never responded to comments in another entry before, but this situation merits some clarification. Thank you Theo and Michelle for bringing this need to light. Let me expound a bit more on how we decided to deal with the fact that we live next door to a registered child molester.

We did not approach our neighbor until we had thoroughly researched both him and the disease. He was found guilty of sodomizing several young boys. We were able to confirm this through reliable sources within the police force.

In talking to a psychiatrist, we learned that in the realm of child molesters, this crime is the most severe and signifies someone with a true sickness. For these offenders it is more about power than sex. The recedivism rate of these men is almost 100%, especially if they are not willing to admit their crime or seek counseling - which our neighbor did neither.

Nelson's meeting with him was very cordial. He gave our neighbor the opportunity to own up to his crime. When he didn't, he simply asked him to honor our requests, which he has done very graciously.

I will be the first to admit that a lot of people who get posted on the sexual offenders list are not true child molesters. In fact, we have a very close friend who got on that list after being falsely accused. His lawyer advised him to plead guilty so that he could stay home to care for his wife and children. He was harassed publically on the radio and will suffer lifelong repercussions for something he never did.

However, people who truly have a problem are very similar to alcoholics, as Michelle commented. It is a sickness that they carry throughout their lives. They are usually not creeps or stalkers. They are family, friends, and neighbors who gain children's trust through kind words and strong friendly bonds. The best defense is to let the offender know that you know who they are. They lose their advantage that way.

I really hate that this is the way it has to be. But understand, I had to cut off a relationship because I have very friendly and trusting children. If I keep up a friendly relationship with him, my children will too. That is more or less like inviting an alcoholic over for a glass of wine. We are trying to avoid being a stumbling block for him.

We have never exchanged a harsh word or acted negatively to him in any way. We simply do not relate. Although I put the comment about moving at the end rather light-heartedly, the truth is that we were looking to move before he ever moved in. Finding out about him just pushed us a little harder.

Our faith teaches us to hate the sin, but love the sinner. I feel that we are loving him through our prayers as well as our decision not to relate to him. If we did not have small children, perhaps we could do things differently. When I am judged and God asks me if I did everything I could to protect my children, in this case I can say, "Yes, I did."