The Sweetest Thing

This morning, like every school morning, I dropped the kids off in the carpool line. This is usually a moment of chaos as my kids plus our carpool friends, climb over each other and tangle themselves in a multitude of book bags, lunchboxes, jackets and projects. It's all about who can get to their class line first.

But this morning, as is also often the case, Dawson was the last one out and almost forgot to shut the door behind him. When he turned around to shut it, he shouted, "Bye Mama! I love you!" and off he went.

Like most mornings, I watched him in my rearview mirror, lunch in hand, book bag swishing back and forth, as he trotted off. I giggled that melt my heart, oh my gosh do I love that kid, how did I get so lucky kind of way only a mom can understand.

I thought about that moment as I drove back home. The innocence and unadulterated love in his voice. The boyish sound it still has. His crater-like dimples and freckled cheeks. The hair that refuses to lay down on the top of his head. Precious! Absolutely, 100% sweet make me gush kind of kid.

And now I'm crying as I type. Because this is what it's all about. In the fury of our busy lives, in the yelling and irritation that these little people so often bring with them, what happened in those few seconds is what makes me so very grateful to be who I am.

I am absolutely relishing in the complete warmth of this moment. This boy who is eight and in the second grade will be a sophomore in high school in the blink of an eye and I'm guessing, even though I'm hoping beyond all hope for this to be untrue, that boys at that age don't shout out, "I love you Mama!" anywhere...at any time.

In the world's eyes a stay-at-home mom often gets zero respect. There are no salary raises or bonuses handed out in my line of work. No one offers to wine and dine me to win my affection (well, my husband totally does but he knows I already love him and he does it anyway). Nobody shoots me a text at five to ask if I want to hit happy hour before I go home. After people hear I have four children, it's not unusual for them to follow with the question, "So what do you do?"

I've lived long enough that I'm beginning not to let any of this bother me. I, as my sweet father-in-law often reminds me, have the toughest and best job in the world. Today I got my raise, signing bonus and vacation package in one fell swoop and it came in a package that still needs me in a hundred ways.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.