It's been such a relaxing week. I've put my feet up, watched movies, stared
at the lights on my tree and breathed deeply on every occasion I could find,
which was a lot. Now I'm taking in some Christmas music while I'm sipping on
hot cocoa and listening to the rain fall outside.
In my perfect world this would all be true but honestly, the
only truth to any of the above is that I can hear the rain outside. I am typing
beneath the lack-luster glow of the beautiful tree pictured above. Several
strands have gone out and try as he may, Nelson can't seem to get them to work.
It makes me sad to stare at it but my back is aching so much I had to lay the
computer on the floor to type.
I'm noticing that my hands look like those of a 90 year old
woman...or one slightly younger who hasn’t been drinking much because I don't
have time to pee. Seriously. My mind is in overdrive and every time I check
something off the "to do" list, I have to add three more things in
I'd tell you about my last few weeks, but I don't have the
time or the energy. If you're a mom, I'm betting you know exactly what I'm
talking about. Try as I may to have a simple, peaceful Christmas, December
seems to laugh in my face.
I did a pretty good job last year of pushing the stress out
and just going with it. At least I thought I was pushing it out...until
Christmas morning when I awoke to my egg casserole that had overflowed over
every shelf in my refrigerator and then continued to gush as I set it on the
counter. By the time the doorbell rang signaling that family had arrived, I was
in the middle of the kitchen sobbing...over eggs.
It was pathetic and I knew it but there was no stopping it.
Seems I had really just repressed all the stress and it had finally found its
This year I'm allowing myself random moments of
hyperventilating in hopes that Christmas morning will not undo me again. I'm
doing okay on the random rants and moments of sheer panic. I'll let you know if
I can relax when the big day comes.
Here's what I learned last year. What I can get done will be
great and what I can't, well, that will be fine too. So the Christmas letter is
going to be down to the last minute. It always is, no matter what I do. That's
okay. Is everyone going to think less of me when they receive their cards on
December 24th? If you are, please don't tell me.
We got our first card November, 30th! And though my first
thoughts were, "Holy cow! It's not even December, give me a break,” I was
a little jealous they were done with this mammoth holiday task. We got out
family photo taken back in October, maybe September, and I was all like,
"I've got this! I'm so ahead of the game this year."
Today when I purchased the stationary from the store, the
clerk remarked, "Yes it's on sale. I mean you only have like a week to get
it done now right?" I wanted to slug her, but in the spirit of Christmas
cheer I smiled and laughed like I was getting this for next Christmas like
Today was just one of those let it all hang out and be
stressed and nervous days. In retrospect, I accomplished a tremendous amount of
work. Tomorrow, when and if I finally get to enjoy that cup of cocoa, you can
bet your bottom dollar it's going to be half peppermint schnapps. I will
consider it my chill pill.
Tomorrow I'm going to be busy, but chill. Got it? I had the
stress today so I'm good for the next few. Remind me of that if you see me.
Tell me, "Today is your day to chill out sister."
And just for the record, I am not kidding about the hot
chocolate (I only call it cocoa in the dream world) and schnapps. It has been
my favorite holiday treat for the last few years. Trust me on this one.
Chocolate and peppermint is the perfect holiday combination. Try it! Better
yet, come have one with me. We can chill together.