Week 27

A few weeks ago I made a decision. I decided that this pregnancy is going to be hard. Not hard some of the time or some days but hard all of the time, every minute of every day.

I didn't do this to revel in my own self pity. Instead, I thought that maybe if I just accepted the fact, I might not loathe getting up in the morning, going to bed at night or just getting through the day.

Part of this decision was to answer people's questions about how I'm doing with a lie. Now, instead of my laundry list of my ailments, I simply answer, "Good." Okay, except for a few close friends and family members who are genuinely interested in how I am really doing, that's what I tell people.

Because of this simple little lie, something has changed. I don't feel any better. But, instead of people saying, "Wow, you look tired" or "Your belly has really ballooned out this week," they are saying things like, "You look beautiful." This has helped justify my little lies along the way. They don't seem to be hurting anyone.

Today marks week number 27. I consider this a victory. I am in the last trimester. I have only 13 weeks to go. The daily countdown is no longer three digits but two.

I am going to make it. I am going to continue to strap on my layers of support gear every morning. I am going to do my best to put on a good face. And, yes, I am going to continue to lie.

I can do all this because there is an end in sight. And...that end includes a brand new baby. And...I have a feeling that something about holding that precious little soul in my arms will make me say that this was all worth it in the end.