And the List Goes on...and on...and on...

This afternoon I sat on the couch frantically folding laundry before going to work. My mind was racing, but my body was on freeze frame. Why was I moving so slow? Why do I feel so exhausted when I've been lamenting for the last half hour about how I didn't get anything done today?

Ya feel me?

I was in that typical mother mode of getting down on myself because I didn't get through my list. Oh the list! Every single day it's there, taunting me from the bulletin board of my over stuffed mind.

When Nelson and I were registering for wedding gifts, the lady who set up our registry gave me an analogy that I haven't forgotten in nineteen years. "I find," she said casually, "that men are filing cabinets and women are bulletin boards."

"Yeah, okay, whatever," is what I'm pretty sure I was thinking with all the sage wisdom a single person about to be married has, "give me the scanning gun and let me go."

"You see," she continued, "men see things that need to be done and they file it. They put it away until they can get to it and they don't think about it in the meantime. Women, on the other hand, put everything up on a bulletin board where they see everything all of the time. They don't stop thinking about it until it's done."

Even though I was young and stupid, I recognized her wisdom the minute it left her mouth.

That's where I sat this afternoon. I was folding laundry, looking at a bulletin board with a multitude of little papers pinned on it...three notes thick in many places.

I ran out the door to go to work, still ruminating about those never ending lists - kicking myself over and over again because I didn't take one single thing off of it today.

Then, I paused my racing mind for a moment to try to get some perspective. What did I do today that prevented me from getting those other things done? Let's see. I started the day substituting for my son's teacher. I went from there to the grocery store to pick up some milk. While at the store I got a text from Mackenzie who had been taken home because she threw up at school. She asked me to pick up ginger ale, chicken noodle soup, and poster board. I brought that stuff home and put it away then rushed to pick up Felicity from her Catechism class. From there we stopped by my mom's to drop off some pictures. We came home, I fixed lunch for the two girls, and threw in a load of wash. Somewhere in all of that, I called the orthodontist and the eye doctor to move around appointments. Oh, I also folded two loads and put them away...and still made it to work on time.

It was time for a talk. "Self," I said as gently, yet sternly as I could, "it's time to give yourself a break. Acknowledge what you did do instead of ruminating about what you didn't do. Take into account that you have five kids who all need you still. Take things one day, one moment at a time. Do what needs to be done and cut yourself some slack about the rest."

I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. Sometimes I'm right.

"Okay then," myself continued, "chin up. Keep moving. You've got this. Right now the agenda is work. Do that and forget the rest." There was a virtual hug, pat on the back, and kick in the rear to get me out of the car. Turns out myself can be a good cheerleader and motivator.

Putting that into practice is much harder than acknowledging it as the truth. Honestly, I'm hoping by writing this down, I will have it recorded. I will remember it. I will begin to live it.

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. You can too! Let's do it together.